Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
