Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My ATM looks so different sober.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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