took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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