marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
