who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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