just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
