it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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