And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
