I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
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You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
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What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize