It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
be right there i have to get my cape
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
