Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
