He kissed a someone with a penis
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
