Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We need to get me chipped asap
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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