why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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