Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
