He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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