i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
