I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
