you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
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being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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