you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
