Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i don't like sucking hair
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
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