C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
