And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
