in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
