she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
