Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize