Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Text me some of your sweat
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