She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's blow job season.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
