Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
