i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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