yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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