I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
