btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
