So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
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Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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