it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
