We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
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Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
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Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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