I'm really into asian looking animals
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize