Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
