All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
