onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize