Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
