She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize