I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
