im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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