I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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