I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
