his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
