i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
