nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
