He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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