You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
