Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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