i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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