k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
