Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hate your face
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
