My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
