hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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