How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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