The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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