The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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