I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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