Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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